This weeks part of the Confidence series with Style Ageless is all about loving yourself!
The thing about loving yourself is that it’s about knowing your value and your worth. I struggled with this idea for the longest time as I lost love for myself at some point as y’all read in the first part of the series, body love.
This goes beyond my loss of self confidence but I was also going through a rough time mentally dealing with the loss of my mother. Understandably, it leaves a void inside you but what I didn’t realize I was doing in this mourning period was push everyone else away. I no longer wanted to love and be loved deeply because I didn’t want to feel that pain of loss again. So I shelled up and stopped showing myself to others. In doing this, I lost myself. I spent a long time trying to get that girl back that could love effortlessly and endlessly but first I realized I had to love myself before I could ever give that love to anyone else.
I spent a short period of time going to therapy where I learned what values I held and where they stood. It might sound silly at first but I believe it is important to take some time out of your day to sit down and think about the things you value about yourself and others. Write them down so you can look back on them. Write a letter of encouragement for yourself so you can look at it in a tough time.
On Being You
Gain the power to be yourself.
Open, vulnerable and exposed.
These are three words actress Uzo Aduba from Orange is the New Black associates with the word power (something I read in Glamour). It got me to thinking… Power doesn’t always have to have the negative connotation it typically upholds. Instead of a position of authority, power could be viewed as freedom.
To be vulnerable, to be open and exposed to is to be free because theres no more hiding. No more walls, facades, misunderstanding… To feel free to be yourself, to feel comfortable with being yourself, everything, flaws and all- that is freedom. To be free is the ultimate form of happiness and that gives you the power to be
whoever the hell you want you.
No one is you and that is your power
It is a beautiful thing to get to be yourself because absolutely no one on this planet earth is exactly like you. No one has your mind, your body, your spirit, experiences, hardships, values, lessons…. We all go things differently, we deal with things differently, we think about things differently. No one is like you, no matter who says differently, you are unique. It is important to understand this and view your “flaws” or differences as beautiful because it’s what sets you apart and makes you different and that’s a beautiful thing.
So, before you go say it with me, “I love me.”
Now, go write a couple things down you love about yourself. It doesn’t have to be physical attributes, maybe it’s your mind, your ability to love, or your generosity. Things that make you who you are.
I hope you leave here feeling a little warm and loved because you are beautiful, you are incredible and you are worthy!
And remember, no one gets to be you! (How awesome is that?)
Head on over to read Adrianna’s post on self love on Style Ageless!
Talk soon darlings.
Photos By: Jaida Brinkley